Maybe Wash Your Beard More Often?

My beard is something that sort of is a big deal for me. It’s my baby as I’ve said before. I love my beard. You know that one guy that probably cares a little too much about his beard? I don’t even have a problem with being THAT guy. I’m very much that guy and my friends don’t seem to have a problem with it. I was really anxious for a while though because I thought that I might be quite the annoying member of our little group. Now we’ve been friends for a very long time but it’s not like we’re joined at the hip so there are some things about their lives I’m not aware of.


Here’s how my fears of causing them annoyance with my beard grooming were quickly assuaged. One pleasant evening we were out on the town eating at a little hole in the wall I’d found a while back. We had decided to make a night of it so one of my friends thought it would be nice to invite some of his coworkers. Now apparently the rest of my friend group had already had the pleasure of being introduced to these coworkers so I would be the only one there who hadn’t met them before. Now for the sake of privacy let’s refer to the person I’m about to talk about as “John” alright? Now John was among these coworkers I mentioned and let me tell you after about a plate of wings with John I quickly understood why no one took issue with my rather meticulous beard grooming habits. Now John was a great guy but here’s what I figured out after those wings John had literally no idea that beards need maintaining. First of all the thing was wiry to the point that flecks of chicken need only make contact with it and they’d be stuck. Next was the rather bothersome fact that John apparently knew this to be the case and since his beard was rather thick joked about there being leftovers from lunch in there too. I hope to all things good in this world that he truly was simply joking.

Now I’m no snake so upon realizing John’s rather concerning lack of beard hygiene I proceeded to chat him up and lightly drop a few hints about maybe picking up some beard wash and maybe even a beard oil. So moral of this story is… don’t be THAT guy make sure you keep that beard in check.